Suck it in, suck it in, sucking in
If you’re Rin Tiin Tin or Anne Boleyn
Make a desperate move or else you’ll win
And then begin to see
What you’re doing to me
This MTW is not for free
It’s so PC it’s killing
…Because the hook brings you back to what you missed in the news yesterday.
You Know What, On Second Thought, Maybe Change Your Name Back
Americans across the country were shocked to hear President Trump’s self-proclaimed new nickname on Monday night. Trump declared himself a “nationalist” during his rally in Houston, Texas, owning, in a way the label that has long been used to describe his rhetoric and pretorian style.
“A globalist is a person that wants the globe to do well, frankly not caring about the country so much. You know, we can’t have that. You know what I am, I’m a nationalist. Use that word.”
–President Donald J. Trump
As for the reasoning behind our Nationalist President’s little trip to Texas, he was stumping to make sure Ted Cruz, who is up for re-election, defeats Democratic Rep. Beto O’Rourke, whose campaign is making the Grand Ol’ Party pretty uneasy.
Never Watch An Episode of ‘Friends’ Without Me!
The Indianapolis Zoo was the setting for quite the episode of “Planet Earth” on Monday when a lioness killed the father of her three offspring. In a statement released by the Zoo, Nyack, a 10-year-old male African lion, had died after staff found him “held in a tight grip by Zuri, a 12-year-old female, hours before the zoo opened on Monday.”
The incident has left zoologists and curators at the Indianapolis Zoo in a state of awe. Events like this are not only rare for lions in captivity, but for the species in general, especially given that the two lions had been in the same habitat together for eight years, breeding three cubs in 2015.
“What I understand from the zoo is that this was a very unusual male and unusual female. The male was very weak and submissive, and the female was very dominant of the male. It’s almost as if [the male lion] was just too wimpy, like some sort of metrosexual and he didn’t live up to the macho standard of male lion behavior.”
–Craig Packer, head of the Lion Center at the University of Minnesota
I wonder how the female lion will tell her children how their father died.
Like A (Chinese) Bridge Over Troubled Water
It’s official, China has a weird thing for bridges, given that six of the nine largest bridges in the world are in China. I mean, I love a good bridge, but that’s a tad excessive. On Tuesday (monday with U.S. time difference) Chinese President Xi Jinping opened the world’s longest sea-crossing bridge in the southern city of Zhuhai.
The new bridge named the Hong Kong-Zhuhai-Macau bridge cost a mere $20 billion to build and a whole lot of Lego bricks. The new bridge connects mainland China with the territories of Hong Kong and Macau, with a. “55-kilometer (34-mile) road bridge” that has taken nearly ten years to build, according to CNN reports.
“With the bridge, the traveling time between Hong Kong and the Western Pearl River Delta region will be shortened significantly, thereby bringing the Western Pearl River Delta region within three hours’ drive from Hong Kong.”
–Frank Chan, Hong Kong Transport Secretary
CNN reports that despite the miraculous commute that drivers can now enjoy, private car owners in Hong Kong will need a special permit to cross the bridge. Most drivers will need to park at the port of Hong Kong and hope on a shuttle bus once they’ve gone through immigration.
