“What do you want to be when you grow up” is a question that has inspired kindergartners for centuries, while leaving a few in an early stage of an existential crisis. Most kids respond to the question with answers like “doctor” or “police officer,” valiant professions in their own right. But not Michael Cohen. When Cohen’s teacher prodded him on his future plans, he immediately shouted, “I want to be the personal lawyer for President Donald Trump!” Cohen’s kindergarten teacher, Ms. Matthews, was confused. The only Trump in the headlines in the 60s was Fred Trump, Donald’s father, who was sued for racial discrimination in his business practices. Nevertheless, Michael Cohen had a dream, and nothing can stand between and kindergartener and their dream.
Forty years and an ongoing investigation in collusion between Trump and Russia during the 2016 election, Michael Cohen might regret wishing to be the president’s legal counsel. Back in June, about a month before special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation started heating up, President Trump fired Michael Cohen after his residences and homes were raided by the FBI. Lying awake in anguish every night, Cohen couldn’t stomach his relationship with Trump and eventually decided to cooperate with Mueller. On Wednesday, Michael Cohen was sentenced to 36 months in jail for nine counts of felony charges, including being charged with scheming to help secure the Trump presidency.
According to several sources present at the trial, Cohen started crying after he received his sentence, in hopes that the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences would potentially help him post bail, but there’s no award for Worst Supporting Criminal in a Presidential Election.
“I have been living in a personal and mental incarceration ever since the day that I accepted the offer to work for a real estate mogul whose business acumen I deeply admired. Today is one of the most meaningful days of my life. The irony is that today I get my freedom back.”
–Michael Cohen
As the adage goes, “hell hath no fury like a Cohen scorned.” Following his sentencing, Cohen sang like a canary, to anyone that would listen, about the suspicious activities he partook in whilst serving as Trump’s legal counsel. Cohen admitted that he and several Trump aides continued negotiations with Russian entities about the Trump tower project in Moscow well into the 2016 presidential campaign. He blamed “his blind loyalty to this man [Trump] which led him “to take a path of darkness instead of light.” Given his cooperative efforts with the ongoing Mueller investigation, Cohen’s lawyers asked U.S. District Judge William H. Pauley III to go easy on him, but little did they know that no one gets off easy in the Southern District of New York.
“Cohen first reached out to meet with the [special counsel’s office] at a time when he knew he was under imminent threat of indictment in this District. As such, any suggestion by Cohen that his meetings with law enforcement reflect a selfless and unprompted about-face is overstated.”
–Statement from prosecutors in the Southern District of New York
While no official reports have been released directly connecting Cohen’s misbehavior with instructions given by President Donald Trump, it doesn’t look great that Trump’s right-hand confidant will be behind bars very soon. Interestingly enough, Trump told authorities that Cohen’s sentence should’ve been longer than three years, and any information Cohen provided investigators with was baseless and “fake news.” For those of us hoping that President Trump has his day in court, we will have to wait until special counsel Mueller completes his investigation.
In closing, I will leave you with Judge Pauley III’s closing statement regarding Michael Cohen, and maybe you’ll think twice before wishing that one you become the personal lawyer to President Donald Trump:
“As a lawyer, Mr. Cohen should have known better. Tax evasion undercuts the government’s ability to provide essential services upon which we all depend. While Mr. Cohen is taking steps to mitigate his criminal conduct by pleading guilty and volunteering useful information to prosecutors, that does not wipe the slate clean.”
–U.S. District Judge William H. Pauley III
