To this day, I derive immense frustration from any scene in a horror film where characters from the film walking in the direction of the danger they are so desperately trying to evade. If you don’t watch horror films, you’ve heard of the classic “don’t go in there” yelled by audience members who watch in terror as their favorite actors are chopped into pieces or possessed by an evil spirit. It frustrates me because, in a situation where several friends of yours have been murdered, and you decide that the car full of gasoline is a risky move, but the obvious choice is to enter the spooky, dilapidated cabin in the middle of the Minnesota woodlands, I have no sympathy for you when the villain/monster/evil spirit straight up murders you and your clueless friends.
Make sure you never go back into the house where scary things have taken place, and if you do, you should at least know what you missed in the news yesterday.
Find The Nearest Emergency Brexit
After countless months of negotiating the deal between the European Union and the UK Parliament, Theresa May suffered the largest legislative defeat any prime minister has suffered in modern British History, according to Vox. While May is still in the groveling stages of her failure, several political analysts have pointed out that the Brexit deal was destined to be rejected from the very beginning. The terms on which Conservative Brexiteers wanted to leave the EU were far too intense for any EU negotiator to even remotely consider. Imagine a couple going through a divorce, let’s say Jeff Bezos and his wife, and Bezos proposes to his wife’s legal counsel that she doesn’t actually need billions of dollars to be happy, both Mackenzie and her lawyers would think Jeff had gone off his rocker. This was the sentiment felt by EU negotiators throughout the entirety of the Brexit process.
With her pride and literal job on the line, Prime Minister May managed to survive a “no-confidence” vote in Parliament on Wednesday following her Brexit defeat one day earlier. According to several sources, May won by a margin of 325 to 306, meaning that her fellow UK government colleagues still believe that, despite Brexit’s failure, she is still fit to hold her position as Prime Minister, at least for the time being. Following her defeat, May promised to consult MPs on any edits she plans on making for Brexit 2.0, in hopes of making the deal more palatable for Parliament’s taste.
Wait, That’s Actually Really Chill
In perhaps the first noble move for the Trump administration since the government shutdown first started several weeks ago, President Donald Trump signed a bill providing back pay to federal employees affected by the shutdown on Wednesday, according to CNN. The law, referred to as the Government Employee Fair Treatment Act of 2019, which the White House said “requires the compensation of government employees for wages lost, work performed, or leave used during a lapse in appropriation that begins on or after December 22, 2018,” is a kind gesture, but the fact is these workers still won’t receive these payments until after the shutdown. Hundreds of thousands of federal employees have no way to pay their bills because of the shutdown, and while this piece of legislation is a step in the right direction, reopening the government would be much simpler and already has bipartisan support in Congress.
