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There’s simply no good way to put this, so I’ll just be completely blunt. I don’t see the appeal pancakes as breakfast food. I know some of you may consider this a hot take (hot cake), but while breakfast is my favorite meal of the day, I think it goes without saying that dessert has no place on at that meal. Now, let’s be civil before this devolves to unnecessary roughness and/or name calling. Each and every one of you has every right to eat whatever food you’d like to start off your day eating, but I cannot stand idly by and watch someone inhale sweet, pastry-like discs drenched in maple syrup. Come to think of it, as I describe it, I’m actually hatefully craving pancakes and I think, rather than continue my useless tirade, I’m going to go find some to eat.

I hope your breakfasts are plentiful and delicious, and here’s what you missed in the news yesterday. 

Google Watch Is In Full Effect 

In the years following the introduction of wearable devices, companies across the tech industry have championed products designed to allow consumers to track their heart rate, send text messages, and even navigate around whatever city they may find themselves in. One such company, Google has yet to enter the wearable space, but rumors about a Pixel Watch have whispered in the wind for quite some time now. Today, the world’s search engine turned rumors into facts as it announced plans to purchase smartwatch technology from Fossil Group for $40 million. As part of the transaction, per the official press release, a portion of Fossil Group’s research and development team currently supporting the transferring IP will join Google. 

“Fossil Group has experienced significant success in its wearable business by focusing on product design and development informed by our strong understanding of consumers’ needs and style preferences. We’ve built and advanced a technology that has the potential to improve upon our existing platform of smartwatches. Together with Google, our innovation partner, we’ll continue to unlock growth in wearables.”

Greg McKelvey, Executive Vice President and Chief Strategy and Digital Officer, Fossil Group

Yeah, He Went There

Say what you wish about President Donald Trump, but you have to admit, the man has got some serious moxey. Less than twenty-four Horus after House Speaker Nancy Pelosi insisted that Trump should reconsider delivering his upcoming State Of The Union later this month, Trump clapped back with the force of Thor’s hammer, Mjolnir. 

“Dear Madame Speaker, 

Due to the shutdown, I am sorry to inform you that your trip to Brussels, Egypt, and Afghanistan have been postponed. We will reschedule this seven=day excursion when the shutdown is over. In light of 800,000 great American workers not receiving pay, I am sure you would agree that postponing this public relations event is totally appropriate. I also feel that, during this period, it would be better if you were in Washington negotiating with me and joining the Strong Border Security movement to end the shutdown. Obviously, if you would like to make your journey by flying commercial, that would certainly be your prerogative…”

-President Donald Trump 

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