I’ve been thinking, and you know how dangerous that can be. Everything sounds sarcastic when you have social anxiety. Confused? Well…Here’s what you missed in the news yesterday
This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things
A man simply trying to enjoy a night of fear and thrills decides to visit a haunted house in Madison, Tennessee. The haunted house, nicknamed the “Nashville Nightmare.” James Yochim, 29, and his friend Tawnya Greenfield, also 29, were wandering the haunted house when a man, reportedly wearing “skull face makeup and a straw hat” offered Greenfield what seemed to be a prop knife. They had both been running around from ghouls and goblins all night, causing them to be scared, irritable, and tired.
According to the Huffington Post, Yochim was bothering Greenfeld, so the costumed man suggested, “Well here, stab him,” and handed her a prop knife. But, guess what? It for sure wasn’t a prop knife. Yochim spoke on the incident, “she stabs me with it, and everything got really black.” I give you this piece of advice, if someone hands you a black nerf gun, do not fire it at your friend because they’re annoying.
“I Was Just Being Proactive…” “Yeah, No, You’re Just Racist, Ma’am”
Corey Lewis is like any other working babysitter. He picks up the children, for the family he works for, from school, helps them with homework, and waits for their parents to come home from work. Well, a white woman with incredible perception recognized that Lewis was African-American, and naturally, this is causation for contacting the authorities.
Georgia Resident Lewis live-streamed the entire incident, which many are referring to as a case of “babysitting while black.” According to CBS reports, the white woman approached Lewis’s car, while he was with the children in a Walmart parking lot. The women then followed Lewis back to his own home, where he was met by a police officer, and subsequently interrogated.
If I Puke In A Self-Driving Uber, Do I Still Get Five Stars?
The Trump administration is considering a pilot program that will bring us closer to a world in which self-driving cars may pass us in the carpool lane. In response to this program, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) said that these cars would need to have “technology disabling the vehicle if a sensor fails or barring vehicles from traveling above safe speeds.”
In January, General Motors Co filed a petition to use fully automated vehicles for a ride-sharing fleet they plan on releasing sometime in 2019.
Silly UN, Climate Change Is For Kids
You heard it here first, folks. The United Nations released a report on climate change and the near-catastrophic outcomes that will take place if we don’t act fast, and, well, President Trump just isn’t buying it. In response to receiving this report, the President explains that the report “was given to me. And I want to look at who drew it. You know, which group drew it.”
The report, released on Sunday, warned that we need to cut back on greenhouse gas emissions, or we will be in dire straits.
Trump insisted, “I can give you reports that are fabulous and I can give you reports that aren’t so good.” Funny, I used that exact same explanation when showing my mother a less-than-good report card.
“Look, mom. I can give you report cards that are fabulous, and I can give you my report card that isn’t so good.”
