Yes, sports fans, it is once again time for our favorite activity; translate one of my favorite songs into Shakespearean English. This time, we have a classic tune from 1985, recorded by dozens of the world’s leading recording artists at the time.
Th’re cometh a timeth
at which hour we he’d a c’rtain calleth
at which hour the w’rld wilt cometh togeth’r as one
th’re art people dying
oh, and t’s timeth to lendeth a handeth to life
the greatest gift of all
we can’t wend on
pretending day-by-day
yond someone, somewh’re lief maketh a changeth
we’re all a parteth of god’s most wondrous big family
and the sooth, thee knoweth, loveth is all we needeth
Any guesses? If you thought it was ‘We Are The World” recorded by United Support of Artists for Africa, then you win the satisfaction of knowing you’re right. Congratulations! Well, here’s what you missed in the news yesterday.
Slip, Slip, Slip, Slide!
If you didn’t understand the reference made in the above title, no matter, the show must go on. Last month, both the northern and southern regions of California were hit by devastating fires, causing massive amounts of destruction and leaving unfortunately robbing the lives of innocent civilians. For those of us unfamiliar with forest fires, perhaps you are more inclined to understand the propensities of rain. Well, the 117 passengers aboard Southwest flight 278 shared an excitingly terrifying ride after landing at Burbank Airport, when their Boeing 737-700 slid off the runway during heavy rain.
“Southwest Flight 278 from OAK to BUR landed safely and rolled to a stop at the end of the runway. Customers deplaned the aircraft via air stairs, with no reported injuries among the 112 Customers and give Crew members..We’re refunding the cost of customers’ roundtrip airfare and including an additional gesture of goodwill.”
–Southwest Official Tweet Regarding the Flight 278 Incident
Lena, What’s Going On, Dude?
Those of us who are die-hard fans of HBO’s “Girls,” will have no issue identifying the show’s leading lady, actress Lena Dunham. As for the rest of us, you’ve most likely seen Dunham in the news for the many instances in which she made fairly controversial comments. During a 2015 interview, she likened conversations on Bill Cosby to that of someone obsessed with the events of the Holocaust.
In more recent news, Dunham wrote a formal apology to actress Aurora Perrineau for publicly disputing her account of being sexually assaulted by “Girls” writer Murray Miller, according to CNN.
Dunham’s letter said:
“When someone I knew, someone I had loved as a brother, was accused, I did something inexcusable. I publicly spoke in his defense. There are a few facts I could ever regret more in this life. I didn’t have the ‘insider information’ I claimed but rather blind faith in a story that kept slipping and changing and revealed itself to mean nothing at all. I wanted to feel my workplace and my world were safe, untouched but the outside world (a privilege in and of itself, the privilege of ignoring what hasn’t hurt you) and I claimed that safety at cost to someone else, someone very special.”
–Lena Dunham apology to Aurora Perrineau
