Yes, it is once again time for America’s favorite “mid-publication” game show, “Name that Movie.” I’m your host with the ghost who drives to the post, Daniel Chase. I will give you several movie quotes, ranging from simple to aggressively obscure, and it’s your mission, should you choose to accept it, to guess what movie the quote is from. Ready? Too bad.
- “If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour…you’re gonna see some serious s**t.”
- “I’m sure that in 1985, plutonium is available at every corner drugstore, but in 1955 it’s a little hard to come by.”
- “That’s your name, isn’t it? Calvin Klein? It’s written right there on your underwear.”
Any guesses? If you think all three quotes were from the same film, Robert Zemeckis’ Back To The Future, then you are 100% correct!
Alright, here’s a very special edition of what you missed in the news during the month of October.
eShoots, eScores A Gold Medal
In the early days of October, a unique exhibition event was held at the Asian Games in Jakarta, Indonesia. For you insular sports fans out there, the Asian Games are a miniature version of the Olympics during which a dozen, or so, countries from around the continent compete in a variety of sports-based challenges.
At this year’s Asian Games, an exhibition eSports “League of Legends” match was held for spectators looking for something new. Allow me to clarify, spectators paid hard-earned money to watch people play video games competitively.
ESPN reporter Jonathan Selvaraj, who attended the Jakarta games, had this to say following his visit to the eSports exhibition:
“eSports isn’t sporting as you know it. If muscular six-foot-five Sun Yang is the star of the Chinese swim squad, pudgy five foot Uzi Jian Zi Houw is the star center of the Chinese Leave of legends roster…His bespectacled compatriots were dressed in oversized t-shirts, acne, and boyish wavy hair, seems to have wandered out of a Harry Potter lookalike convention”
–Jonathan Selvaraj ESPN
The purpose of this demonstration was to pitch eSports to the International Olympic Committee (IOC) as a potential event for the 2022 Olympic Games. The IOC is now considering the addition of competitive video gaming as an Olympic sport.
I’m at a loss for words.
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Wait, What Happens If A Potential Justice Commits An Injustice?
John Roberts and The Supremes were in the market for a new Justice early this month and President Donald Trump nominated circuit Judge Brett Kavanaugh as his pick for the open seat. Following his appointment, several women, most notably Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, came forward with accusations of sexual assault against Judge Kavanaugh.
Dr. Ford claimed that during their time in high school together, Kavanaugh attempted to force Dr. Ford into unwanted sexual relations while both were at a party. Judge Kavanaugh denied all allegations, told us enjoyed a beer, using the phrase 30 times in his testimony, and left the decision to the Senate Judiciary Committee.
We learned quite a bit from Kavanaugh’s testifying in front of the committee. Judge Kavanaugh taught us drinking games like, “devil’s triangle” and “quarters,” as well as engaging us in colorful phrases like “boofing,” which was later expounded to us as the act of throwing up from alcohol consumption.
After several FBI investigations and hours of testimonies, no concrete evidence was found to corroborate the stories of Dr. Ford and the other women who accused Judge Kavanaugh. Amidst these hearings, just outside the hallowed halls of the Senate chambers, liberals of all ages, creeds, and colors were protesting.
Protestors were infuriated at the remote possibility that we, as a nation, denied the narrative of a sexual assault survivor, as well as made her (Dr. Ford) relive her trauma on national television. As America reacted, the committee voted, and with a narrow margin, 51 – 49, Judge Brett Kavanaugh was granted a seat at the Supreme Court’s table.
Rollin’ Down The Streets Of Toronto, Smokin’ That Legal Kush…Laid Back
With their mind on their money and their money on their mind, the Canadian Parliament legalized the recreational use of marijuana this month. Canadians across the country, from Manitoba to Prince Edward Island, can now purchase up to thirty-three grams of cannabis for their consuming pleasure.
Canadian PM Justin Trudeau recognized that if the country were to legalize cannabis, illegal possession and consumption would be a thing of the past. The decision to pass this legislation officially makes Canada the first G-7 nation to “legalize it.” Ironically enough, cannabis producers in the country fear that their supply will not meet consumer demands, which will lead to illegal purchasing yet again.
Oh well, I’m too high for this.
One Man Enters, No Man Leaves
Jamal Khashoggi, a Washington Post columnist, and a recent critic of his country, Saudi Arabia’s, governing practices, walked into the Saudi Consulate in Istanbul, Turkey several weeks ago.
He was hoping to file paperwork to be allowed to marry his Turkish fiancee, who was waiting in the car, outside. Khashoggi never returned, and this is not a typical occurrence when visiting a consulate.
After hush-hush behavior from the Saudis and lethargy from the Trump Administration, Turkish officials discovered audio footage that shows while Khashoggi was inside the Consulate, he was attacked by a 15-person Saudi hit-squad. He was drugged, killed, and dismembered. Now, Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman and his government officials are investigating further into what took place.
Though President Trump has made it clear that whoever is responsible will be in big trouble, mister, no actions have been taken.
